It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The uberlube is also flammable
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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