my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
