So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
