i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
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