dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
