Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
