If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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