So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
