Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's shark week go big or go home
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
