playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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