I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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