Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize