Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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