i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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