goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
