You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
