Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
