You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I need moral support for this bender
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
