I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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