The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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