my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
