theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
barbara walters just said penis...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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