how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
