how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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