I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
