What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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