1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she pinky promised me she was 18
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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