Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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