i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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