I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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