Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
