Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
