69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize