Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't deserve a penis
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
