Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
