i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
In America we eat man semen.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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