"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
