we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
