You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Randomize
