Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
