i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
