I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
