Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
