I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
