this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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