I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
