she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
