Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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