Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
