I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
