did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So I just went to clothing optional bar
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
