the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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