I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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