Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
