Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
