I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
