I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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