one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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