We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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